: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i love accidental penises.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
