there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
should my penis look like a turkey
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
