oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
