We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
