I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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