This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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