In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
