i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
