the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
it's like iHOP with fire
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
