He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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