One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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