Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
