brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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