Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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