Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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