Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
