Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Randomize
