do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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