Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
