you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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