soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
