oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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