I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
