I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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