make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize