Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
