You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
