It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
