You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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