How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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