I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
