The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize