I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
