it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We're too hungover to prance.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize