And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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