i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
