Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
