I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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