So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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