I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
