I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
