I think I died a long time ago.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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