Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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