Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
