I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
