oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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