He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
