Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize