Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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