Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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