where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
