i'm signing you up for texting rehab
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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