I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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