I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
