Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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