We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
