why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize