I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
