8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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