this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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