just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize