I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
she woke up with a sticky ear
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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